"I want my girlfriend to be fat and ugly,
so that no other guy will take her away from me"

&eversince peiru told me about her heart wrenching yet warm, romantic and sweet fairytale she experienced a few years back, i've been caught thinking alot. Yes, those are the words every not-so-good-looking girl would love to hear. guys like that are simply priceless and hard to get by cause right now, many guys, whether they are good looking or NOT, often look for pretty charming girls. well lets give them the benefit of the doubt that they really do love the girls alright, but besides that, the girls also mostly serve as a showpiece for his friends. cause when she walks by, he want his friends to go, "wow, thats a good catch."

but well, i don't really blame guys cause its human nature to find a partner thats super good looking. i am guilty of that too.

but somehow, i feel so touched by what peiru's ex said. its just that those words said can make anyone feel so special. the things he did for her, the things he said to her is omething every girl would love to experience in life at least once.

not many guys are like him today and i read somewhere,
"a girl can like a fat guy but a guy can never like a fat girl"

exactly my point, which explains my fate.

my fate lies at just staing at the guy im head over heels for now.
all i can do is stand by the side and secretly fall deeper into him every single moment.
& deny the fact that i love him every other time.

beyond that, i know i stand no where now.

i wish the guys i loved could look deeper into me, i wish they could see that i would do anything to make them happy, i wish they would know, that when i say i love you, i mean it.

you can fill me up, you can tear me apart.

oh wells, anyway, i m back to maths now ((:
goodbye people.