Today, I was in my room talking to Des when my maid knocked on my room door. When i opened, she handed me a fairprice bag & the picture above reveals what I saw. The first thing I asked my aunty was "Who passed you this &where is she now?" I looked around but Arisa was nowhere to be seen. Arisa passed the cake to my aunty at the gate and left. I don't blame her for that.
I am sorry Arisa, sorry for everything. Sometimes, I just don't know what I'm so caught up with that i end up neglecting the people around me. I know you've been asking me to come over to your place time and again since my birthday, but i've just been spending too much time with other people, not thinking about you. I never meant for things to be this way and like what you said in your blog I am not mad at you for being a bad friend. You've NEVER been a bad friend in my eyes. if anyone is to be mad, then it should be you, cause seriously i've been a bitch. i don't know whats happening to me but i've really changed. i've become such an ungrateful and selfish person. you're not the first person's that's mad at me. you're not the first person thats walked away from me. sometimes i feel afraid when friends get too close to me, cause i've this history of always hurting the people that are close to me. i'm seriously not the kind of friend that anyone would like to keep for long. i never have the intentions to hurt the people around me but unconsciously i always seem to.
well to everyone out there, if you're my friend, dont have to high expectations from me, dont always think that i can be the one that sets everything right, don confide in me too much cause at the end of the day, i always seem to let everyone down.
I'm sorry Arisa. I just hope for things to be better and i will try to make things better. I just need you to understand that im really having problems at home. my mother has really been unreasonable and she's been after me everyday. she doesn't let me do anything, i currently have no freedom at home. She just wants me to study study study. after school, i cant even hang out with my friends cause at 5.30 she starts calling me over and over.
but thanks arisa, kaiheng &honren for the cake.
i appreciate the effort and the cake's really nice (:
i'm just sorry for being a fucking bitch.
