i know the word "I" is selfish,
but in today's post, I bitch and YOU listen.

life's been such a disaster lately, and everything just seems to get from bad to worst.
i' ve been thinking alot lately, and that's not a good sign.
this loneliness that sets in everyday kills me. you know the kind of feeling, like there's so many people around you and yet you feel like there's no one. how sometimes you feel that the people around you are pretending. everyone belongs in one clique or another, but im just that miserable wondering soul that hops from one to another. how i have to try so damn fucking hard just to try and fit in. because im not chinese, because i don't have that much freedom. it sucks so bad when everyone congregates into their small little cliques to talk and i find myself between cliques. how they be with you in class, probably cause they are forced to talk to you, then the moment the bell rings and school ends, they all move away and find other friends, leaving u stranded again. school's not the place i enjoy going to anymore. when i tell people i don't enjoy school and i hate the place, its not that im lazy and don like studying. i just hate the environment, i just hate the loneliness. i've never felt this way before. i miss my toiletgangers and my wildcats alot :( now it just seems like im alone.

then comes schoolwork. im seriously not made for a JC. im dumb. when i got withdrawn in the first yr, i have no idea what made me think i could study hard and prove otherwise in my 2nd yr. i spend 3 years in YJ and still i ask myself where am i going. im not giving up so soon, but somehow i'm able to foresee how things are going to be like when i get my results.

on a brighter note,
thank you jaclyn for getting me oreo cheesecake (:
i was really touched and im sorry if i didnt look that enthusiastic but THANK YOU (:
i love jaclyn jiang jieying!

Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night
And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name
What Right Does She Have To Take You Away
When For So Long, You Were Mine